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June 03, 2026
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Federal Agents Exercise Authority to Execute Trash in L.A. Park- Agents in LA Park article 1
July 9, 2025
Federal Agents Exercise Authority to Execute Trash in L.A. Park
Politics
July 9, 2025

LOS ANGELES – Federal agents marching through MacArthur Park, the iconic Los Angeles greenspace and home to protests, did their part for the environment by picking up trash as they went.  The dozens of agents brought their own trash bags with them, and the supply seemed inexhaustible, according to one observer, certainly more than sufficient…

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White House Claims Epstein Files Committed Suicide and No Longer Available For Release- Leavitt white house Epstein files suicide
July 8, 2025
White House Claims Epstein Files Committed Suicide and No Longer Available For Release
Politics
July 8, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt announced today at the White House that the promised Epstein files are no longer available for release since the files committed suicide. The files were on the Attorney General Pam Bondi’s desk when all of a sudden they caught on fire and became illegible. The FBI…

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The White House Releases List of Approved Illegal Workers Now Allowed to Reside in The US- immigrants
July 8, 2025
The White House Releases List of Approved Illegal Workers Now Allowed to Reside in The US
Politics
July 8, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The White House released today a targeted list of illegal workers who will be allowed to remain in the US. The list was conceived after a backlash from Trump supporters who raised the concern to President Trump that ICE was targeting their workers. Those business owners met with Mr. Trump to make…

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Trump Administration Contends That Military Plans Are Safer on Signal and Other Anonymous Yellow Ghost Shaped Apps Than Hillary’s Email- Hegseth with phone
July 7, 2025
Trump Administration Contends That Military Plans Are Safer on Signal and Other Anonymous Yellow Ghost Shaped Apps Than Hillary’s Email
Politics
July 7, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. –  Despite mounting criticism over the government’s use of a messaging app typically favored by drug dealers, paranoid conspiracy theorists, and that one friend who won’t shut up about “government surveillance,” Trump administration insists Signal and other anonymous yellow ghost shaped apps are better suited for sending classified, highly sensitive information than Hillary…

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Frito-Lay Reconsiders Strategy After Scientists Confirm $7 Is Too Pricey for Cancer- 20250706 1224 Nutrition Facts Label remix 01jzgjxaytfx29z1xtymzbac6z
July 7, 2025
Frito-Lay Reconsiders Strategy After Scientists Confirm $7 Is Too Pricey for Cancer
Economy
July 7, 2025

PLANO, TX – Following a study confirming that $7 is too steep for a tiny, edible bag of carcinogens, Frito-Lay executives are reportedly scrambling to adjust their pricing strategy before customers come to their senses and make healthier, cheaper choices. “When sales plummeted and our stock tanked just hours after we raised prices by 100%,…

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Marco Rubio on State Department’s Deport Soon List- marco rubio
July 7, 2025
Marco Rubio on State Department’s Deport Soon List
Politics
July 7, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. – While combing through files for more foreign individuals to deport, Secretary of State Marco Rubio found his own name on the State Department’s internal “Suspicious Heritage, Deport Soon” (SHDS) list. Sources inside the agency say Rubio had been chuckling to himself as he personally reviewed case files and fast-tracked deportations for anyone…

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Woman Smelling Nice on Subway Violates SEPTA’s Code of Suffering- SEPTA
July 4, 2025
Woman Smelling Nice on Subway Violates SEPTA’s Code of Suffering
July 4, 2025

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania – On Friday morning, SEPTA implemented a new behavioral code, sparked by the ban of a woman who smelled noticeably pleasant on the Market-Frankford Line. The violator, 28-year-old Vivian Chen, reportedly boarded the eastbound train around 8:15 a.m. wearing freshly laundered clothing and scented deodorant. “I didn’t want to smell like the inside…

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Supreme Court to Start Issuing Decisions on X- X and Supreme Court BN
July 4, 2025
Supreme Court to Start Issuing Decisions on X
Politics
July 4, 2025

WASHINGTON D.C.  – John Roberts, Chief Justice of the United States, has announced that going forward, the Supreme Court will announce its decisions on the social media network X. Joining Roberts to make the announcement were Justices Samuel Alito, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Clarence Thomas. Using the official Supreme Court handle @HighCourtMajorityRules, Roberts said…

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Space Needle to ‘Lean In’ to Compete with Pisa Tower- Space needle
July 2, 2025
Space Needle to ‘Lean In’ to Compete with Pisa Tower
Local
July 2, 2025

SEATTLE – Engineers at the famed Space Needle have announced a major upgrade to the iconic observation tower: They are going to make it lean, just like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. They presented today a conceptual rendering of the design at the top of the tower.   The famed Tower of Pisa, the campanile of…

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Bo Jackson Set for NFL Comeback After Cybernetic Surgery
July 2, 2025
KC Chiefs Say ‘Bo Knows Revival’
Sports
July 2, 2025

KANSAS CITY – The Kansas City Chiefs have announced plans to bring back Bo Jackson, one of the most iconic football players of the late 1980s.  Chiefs Confirm Talks on Bo Jackson’s Return Jackson, 63, who last played in the National Football League in 1990, has recently undergone a large number of transformational surgeries in…

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Woman Stops Violent Killer: “Look at Me, This Isn’t You”- Seattle Crime
June 30, 2025
Woman Stops Violent Killer: “Look at Me, This Isn’t You”
Local
June 30, 2025

SEATTLE, Washington – On Tuesday afternoon, after a series of killing rampages across the state, Ella Harris successfully stopped a bloodthirsty killer by bravely shouting, “Stop. Please look at me. This isn’t you.” Ella, who had been walking home from work at 2 a.m. and took an isolated alley as a shortcut to her apartment,…

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Senate Passes Bill with Last Minute Credit Counseling Requirement for Executive Branch- image 99
June 30, 2025
Senate Passes Bill with Last Minute Credit Counseling Requirement for Executive Branch
Politics
June 30, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After much anticipation, the Senate passed its version of the “Big Beautiful Bill” today, which has been renamed “The Other Big Beautiful Bill Act” or TOBBBA. TOBBBA became the talk of Washington with sweeping reforms from infrastructure upgrades to creating the nation’s first federally sponsored golf VIP clubs. But the bill’s final…

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