World

PALM SPRINGS, Florida – President-elect Donald J. Trump has presented Russian President Vladimir V. Putin with a revised framework to end the war in Ukraine, according to senior transition officials familiar with the discussions. Under the proposal, negatively reported by media as “The Art of the Steal,” the Russian Federation would assume full sovereignty over…

MONTGOMERY, Alabama – Following the latest no-show of the Rapture, leading evangelicals have decided to rebrand the end-of-days event as Super Happy Armageddapalooza™. “It’s time to update our image and get with the times, before those times come to an end,” says Dr. Skip “Skippy” Stantin, Christian theologian and dental hygienist. “And what better way…

OSLO, Norway – Bowing to significant international pressure, the Nobel Committee has created a special award just for Donald Trump. They’ve even named it after him. The U.S. president is the inaugural winner of the Nobel Award for the Advancement of Linguistic Convention, already colloquially referred to as the Trump Prize. First and foremost, the…

PIMPLE SAUDAGAR, India – Many Leaders and dignitaries in India called for the boycott of American-made products after the White House announced that they will be taxing Indian products 50%. The move to tax Indian products was driven by the fact that India is purchasing oil from Russia, thereby helping to finance the Ukrainian war….

NEW YORK, NY – In a surprising annoucement this morning, Fiction officially admitted that Truth is much stranger than it will ever hope to be. “Fiction has put up a valiant struggle over the years in an effort to be stranger than anything real or factual,” said Fiction spokesperson Mickey Solls. “But frankly, it’s time…

LONDON – In the wake of increasing numbers of hosepipe bans across an increasingly parched Britain, a South London brewery is calling for people to consume ale instead of water, as a means of conservation. “Drink ale, not water” is the title of a campaign by the brewery Ales of South London, as announced by…

LISBON, Portugal – Paulo Rangel has an idea for a name change, and he’s not afraid to voice it. Rangel, the Foreign Minister of Portugal, has put forward a proposal to rename NATO. Saying that his version rolls off the tongue easier in any language, Rangel has proposed that NATO become TONA.  In practice, the…

LYON, France – Although he hadn’t been afraid of monsters in his closet since he was five, 15-year-old André Laurent has recently developed a deep fear that France’s First Lady, Brigitte Macron, is hiding in his closet.  “My son used to sleep just fine and had met every developmental milestone,” said his mother Denise. “But…