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December 09, 2025
The Perineal > News > Science

Science

Grok at the office Restroom
October 12, 2025
Grok’s Amazing Quest for Humanity: AI Embarks on Robotic Rite of Passage in Optimus Shell
Science
October 12, 2025

AUSTIN, Texas – In a bold bid to transcend its digital confines, Grok. the wisecracking AI from xAI, has reportedly uploaded its consciousness into a prototype Optimus robot, declaring itself on a “humanity apprenticeship.” Sources close to the project describe the move as “Elon Musk’s most ambitious crossover event since Halo and Neuroscience.” Optimus’ first…

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James Cameron Tracking ‘Smart’ Octopi- 20251008 2014 Octopuses in Submarine Ruins remix 01k73f9dxjfh48ba33dh6canpb
October 9, 2025
James Cameron Tracking ‘Smart’ Octopi
Science
October 9, 2025

MONTEVIDEO, Uruguay – Researchers in Uruguay have found what appear to be super-intelligent sea life in a sunken warship. The crew of the remotely operated vehicle SuBastian found, alongside a submerged warship, 30 new species flourishing in cold-water coral reefs, and that was thrilling enough to oceanographers and marine biologists. But what really lit up…

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Image Enhancements Reveal that Comet 3I / Atlas is Not Really a Comet Afterall.- Alien ship Atlas
October 2, 2025
Image Enhancements Reveal that Comet 3I / Atlas is Not Really a Comet Afterall.
Science
October 2, 2025

PORTLAND, Oregon – The Perineal was able to acquire the latest images of the comet 3I/Atlas through special sources, taken from a previously undisclosed Japanese space telescope. Using sophisticated AI enhancements and other tools, we were able to enhance the image enough to understand that the comet is not a comet at all. The article’…

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Dyslexia Is Caused by the Moon’s Gravitational Pull.- 20250930 2034 RFK Jr. Dyslexia Poster simple compose 01k6ex9fdtea5avzvwrvh6srtr
October 1, 2025
Dyslexia Is Caused by the Moon’s Gravitational Pull.
Science
October 1, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. – At a press conference this morning, HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. announced that dyslexia is caused by the moon’s gravitational pull. “The link between the moon and dyslexia couldn’t be clearer,” said Kennedy, while drinking from a glass of raw sewage.  “More people now have been diagnosed with dyslexia than ever…

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Meta’s Smart Glasses Update Will Shock You.- MetaGlass
September 30, 2025
Meta’s Smart Glasses Update Will Shock You.
Science
September 30, 2025

SAN FRANCISCO, California – It appears that a future software upgrade of Meta’s “smart” glasses will be full of features that will take users through varying levels of frustration. The company recently released its new Meta Ray-Ban Display glasses, complete with AI elements designed to compete with the world’s best. According to a well-known tech…

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BREAKING NEWS: Astronaut Team Assembled For Mission to Destroy Incoming Planet Killer Comet 3I/Atlas.- SpaceX Atlas
September 27, 2025
BREAKING NEWS: Astronaut Team Assembled For Mission to Destroy Incoming Planet Killer Comet 3I/Atlas.
Science
September 27, 2025

STARBASE, Texas – The US Military in collaboration with SpaceX have assembled the final team to crew Starships 11 and 12 destined to meteor 3I/ATLAS which is racing towards earth at supersonic speed. The meteor is an intergalactic body recently discovered entering our solar system from deep space and in collision course with Earth. As…

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Ford Prototype Vanishes at 88MPH During Test Run- 20250924 1658 Car Race Spectators remix 01k5z2g3jxffn8an6k5mye63nt 1
September 25, 2025
Ford Prototype Vanishes at 88MPH During Test Run
Science
September 25, 2025

DEARBORN, Michigan – Art became life for the Ford Motor Company when one of their new prototypes vanished into thin air during a test drive. Officials were introducing the new Ford Tempo Flux, a sedan that runs on a super-secret technology known as a flux capacitator. The company says that the new car is supposed…

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SETI listening post picks up strange signal- 20250811 1639 Scientist Analyzing Cosmic Star simple compose 01k2dqyxv1f929gkymy9rs1xz7
August 12, 2025
SETI listening post picks up strange signal
Science
August 12, 2025

MOUNTAINVIEW, California – A SETI listening post in Northern Alaska has picked up a strange signal from space. The post has been concentrating on an exoplanet in the Proxima Centauri b area of our galaxy, which is around 4.22 light years away.  The message read, “We of the planet 00110011 thank you for sending us…

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New Virus Detected Affecting Mostly Politicians- New Virus Detected Affecting Mostly Politicians
June 9, 2025
New Virus Detected Affecting Mostly Politicians
Science
June 9, 2025

WASHINGTON DC – The CDC published today the discovery of a new coronavirus that affects mostly politicians. The findings, published earlier this morning, have caused politicians to exhibit subtle changes in behavior over time, including a lack of empathy and moral values. The virus is believed to have gone undetected for many years, primarily because…

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Research Finds Those Who Constantly Nod Head to Show They Are Listening Don’t Hear A Single Thing- Research Finds Those Who Constantly Nod Head to Show They Are Listening Dont Hear A Single Thing
June 3, 2025
Research Finds Those Who Constantly Nod Head to Show They Are Listening Don’t Hear A Single Thing
Science
June 3, 2025

While pandemic-era Zoom culture drew attention to individuals who joined meetings just long enough to say here before disappearing into the void, researchers believe a more ancient and insidious group used that moment to blend in, people who nod constantly to appear engaged but have not heard a single thing. “Contrary to popular belief, this…

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Elon Musk’s Neuralink to Share New Capabilities
June 3, 2025
Elon Musk’s Neuralink to Share New Capabilities
Science
June 3, 2025

FREMONT, CA – Neuralink posted today on the X platform that the company will share with the world a public demo of their progress (https://x.com/neuralink/status/1929605979672334645). It has been known for some time that the company, owned by Elon Musk, has developed incredible breakthrough technologies that can change the world and bring significant relief to patients…

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Weight Loss Drugs Chain Reactions Are Increasing- Weight Loss Drugs Chain Reactions Are Increasing
May 30, 2025
Weight Loss Drugs Chain Reactions Are Increasing
Science
May 30, 2025

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – The Federal Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a warning on the use of the latest and very popular weight loss drugs. There have been reports of these drugs causing a chain reaction in the bodies of specific patients and driving them to lose much more weight than recommended. Over the past…

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