BUCKINGHAM PALACE – King Charles III is reportedly “apoplectic” after discovering that Prince Andrew had developed an elaborate plan to monetize the recently revealed secret tunnel between St. James’s Palace and the Stafford Hotel.

The tunnel hadn’t been used actively by the royal family in some time, although the late Queen Elizabeth II had been known to use the space for having a quiet lunch away from paparazzi. The most recent use for the tunnel was to store the hotel’s wine collection.

However, it has now come out that Andrew had been in negotiations with Netflix for a new TV series tentatively titled, “I’m a Royal, Get Me Out of Here!” According to a leaked script, the format was for minor celebrities to proceed down the tunnel, navigating obstacles dreamed up by Andrew, while he provided “historical commentary.”  

Charles III was said to be “not at all amused” and most emphatically shut down any questions regarding a TV show on Netflix or any other network. Andrew, who had at one point said that he was merely trying to help contribute to family revenues, has once again gone to ground, taking a lawyer friend’s advice not to do any more interviews.