WASHINGTON DC – The CDC published today the discovery of a new coronavirus that affects mostly politicians. The findings, published earlier this morning, have caused politicians to exhibit subtle changes in behavior over time, including a lack of empathy and moral values. The virus is believed to have gone undetected for many years, primarily because its symptoms are not physical, but rather behavioral changes.

The virus, named FUK-A11, has been affecting politicians from both parties for at least 20 years, and the symptomatic behavior is getting worse every year. The change in behavior has been apparent from both parties, as observed in how they have departed from the core values that are fundamental to their beliefs.

The virus was discovered by no other than Dr. Fauci when he became suspicious that most Republicans no longer care about the budget and other conservative policies. After some analysis and testing, he noticed that most politicians on the left have been carrying the Virus for many years. What really caught Dr. Fauci’s attention was when he realized that the virus had also infected him as early as the mid-80s. He tracked the virus to one of his early college lab experiments.