STARBASE, Texas – The US Military in collaboration with SpaceX have assembled the final team to crew Starships 11 and 12 destined to meteor 3I/ATLAS which is racing towards earth at supersonic speed. The meteor is an intergalactic body recently discovered entering our solar system from deep space and in collision course with Earth.

As if out of a Hollywood movie, 2 Starship rockets will be launched simultaneously from Starbase, TX with the goal to land and subsequently launch 2 Boring company drillers on the surface of the meteor, each with a nuclear bomb inside. Only one of the devices is required to split the meteor in half and alter its trajectory, offering the team redundancy which is necessary due to the extremely dangerous mission. 

The team assembled for the mission has been carefully chosen for their skills and contribution to the mission and Country:

1- Elon Musk: Elon has deep understanding of space, spaceships, drilling and lives in space, mentally. He made point to be on the mission once he learned it was a sustainability related mission and plans to work on Master Plan 4 while in transit to meteor.

2 – Kelce Travis: Seen as a person who can maintain his cool even in the face of apparent defeat. Experienced in team playing and catching anything impossibly thrown at him. His girlfriend Taylor Swift will be watching the mission closely from SpaceX control center.

3 – Gordon Ramsay: He will keep the crew in high spirits with English inspired meals and also lead ground operations. He is not shy of high-pressure environments.

4 – Kim Kardashian: Kim will be responsible for crew style and live podcasts on X platform thru Starlink service. Elon Musk wants to test the service for interplanetary applications for future Mars commercial travel.

6 – Senator Chuck Grassley: The senator wants to do one more “big act” before he goes. He plans on staying behind. 

7 – Kamala Harris: She will be joining the crew at the request of the DNC party. Oddly, the DNC party does not believe the mission will be successful. 

8 – Pam Bondi: Attorney General Bondi is representing the White House at the request of President Trump. We understand that there can be no further discussions on Epstein files while she is out of office.

The launch day is schedule for November 10th, 2025 shortly after Tesla shareholder day. Elon Musk will be displaying robots during the shareholder meeting that will assist the crew in space on various tasks.

We at The Perineal are grateful for these heroes. We are especially grateful for Elon Musk footing the bill since Congress and the Senate could not reach a majority bipartisan vote to fund saving the world.