NEW YORK – We here at The Perineal are on top of the trends, and we’re all over the strange entity known as 67. Why are all the kids chanting it these days? What does it even mean? We asked some experts, and here is what they said.

67 Has Different Meanings to Different People

Neil deGrasse Tyson, scientist: “If you look at the atomic structure of carbon and nitrogen, you’ll find that they have atomic numbers of 6 and 7. These two elements are among the fundamental building blocks of all organic life. These children have intuitively grasped basic astrophysics.”

Dr. Oz, Secretary of Health and Human Services: “As a cardiothoracic surgeon, I can tell you that 6-7 refers to the ideal heart rate zones for fat burning. Kids are intuitively signaling their metabolic awareness, and I recommend that we add 6-8 to the new USDA dietary guidelines.” Elon Musk: “This is obviously binary: 6 is 110 and 7 is 111; these kids are speaking in machine code. They’re way ahead of their parents’ generation. I’m so impressed with this great leap forward in evolution that I’m rebranding X as 67.”

Stephen A. Smith: “Now let met be perfectly clear. Y’all listen up now. That whole 6-7 thing, it’s real. And it really is a height thing. LaMelo Ball has been appearing in those videos. How tall is he? 6-foot-7. You know who else was 6-foot-7? Larry Bird and Scottie Pippen. This is obviously shorthand for ‘otherworldly talent,’ although with LaMelo, I wouldn’t go far. He’s got some work to do yet.”

Marjorie Taylor Greene: “Why do I always have to be the one to speak the truth? 6-7 is obviously a reference to the Deep State. How do I know? I just know. These children have been red-pilled, and they’re trying to warn us. We should start listening now, before it’s too late.”

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