WASHINGTON, DC – The Supreme Court announced today that the lower courts will be officially divided into two court systems, as the current lower courts already lean to the left or to the right, depending on the location and the judge’s ideology. With this new arrangement, it will be easier for lawyers to determine in which court to file a case, depending on its subject matter. The left-leaning court system will be called Diversity, Empathy, and Compassion (DEC), and the right-leaning court system will be named Freedom, Justice, and  Truth (FJT). A lawyer who wants to file a court case against the current administration may now choose a left DEC court for better results.

The adoption of this new system follows several recent lower court cases that have ruled on lawsuits, which appear to have a bias based on the court composition. The US Constitution will still be the governing document and printed in red and blue to align with each court’s preferences. Each Constitution will have a special addendum to assist the judge in finding precedents that best support the court’s interpretation of the Constitution and its bias.

The Supreme Court has not announced when the split will take place; however, we expect this change to happen prior to Thanksgiving.