GALENA, Illinois – After refusing to tip her UberEats driver because she “didn’t have that kind of money,” local woman Victoria Miller found herself paying the consequences and playing Russian roulette with her food.

Upon receiving notification her driver had arrived, Miller reportedly peered through blinds to witness the driver loudly announcing to her entire apartment complex that he had “climbed three flights of stairs for zero dollars in tips.” Neighbors confirmed this was the fourth such announcement outside Miller’s apartment this month.

After waiting for the driver’s departure, Miller retrieved a suspiciously tampered bag featuring torn staples and a handwritten note reading, “Eat at your own risk.”

“Uber says they don’t show drivers the tip amount beforehand,” Miller told reporters while examining the contents. “But every time I place an order, they all know I didn’t tip.” She had made a name for herself over the years among local delivery drivers for not tipping, something unavoidable in a town where everyone knows everyone.

Following complex risk calculations, Miller employed her typical routine of using her Chihuahua as an impromptu food tester, which, if she was being honest, was the real reason she got a pet in the first place. When he didn’t immediately keel over, she nodded in satisfaction and dug in, casually remarking between finger licks that it was “surprisingly delicious, despite the persistent fear of poison.”

Her joy proved short-lived. Witnesses confirmed Miller was later seen sprinting to the bathroom while simultaneously placing another UberEats order, once again without a tip. Lately the area delivery drivers were avoiding clicking on her order, having realized that too was an option.