In a bold move the Trump administration has finally offered to make a trade with Denmark for Greenland. The administration is strongly proposing that the US trades American Samoa and the Northern Mariana Islands to Denmark for Greenland. After all, most Americans don’t even know that the United States controls American Samoa (population 49,000) and even fewer Americans have even heard of the Northern Mariana Islands (population 47,000). For the record Greenland currently has a population of roughly 57,000 people. Therefore, Denmark would have a net gain of people. 

An administration spokesman said, “The president gets what he wants. And he wants Greenland. After all, green is his favorite color. It only makes sense to trade. We own some territories that are very appealing to the world. Their climates are beautiful and much nicer than Greenland. Everybody knows the people of Samoa are strong people who make great pro wrestlers and rugby players.  Denmark has Greenland just sitting there. It’s mostly just ice and rocks and dirt and stuff. Plus, it’s way cold there. We are not only making America great again, but we are also making Denmark great again!”

When the press questioned what happens if Denmark doesn’t take this deal. Would the US offer another territory to be named later such as Puerto Rico or the U.S. Virgin Islands? The spokesman said, “Even though I speak for the president I don’t speak for the president. I do know the president loves making deals and he is a great deal maker, the best.  But I can’t say what his next steps would be. I can say though that it’s best to keep the president happy!”