BURLINGTON, Vermont – President Trump announced new tariffs today while visiting the tallest filing cabinet in the world in Burlington, Vermont. The new tariff will target Canada specifically due to the amount of smoke coming from our northern neighbor. President Trump was visibly irritated with the amount of smoke in the air during his speech next to the unique filing cabinet which will be moved to Washington DC: “The smoke coming from Canada is terrible, it is nasty, we cannot have this. We love the clean big beautiful sky in America”.

The Tariff will be imposed on the Canadian Government for all smoke crossing the northern border. The tariff will be based on estimated metric tons of smoke. The Canadian government responded immediately that it would not pay such a tariff and further announced tariffs of its own: “Canada will impose a tariff on any US water in the Great Lakes crossing the border”. 

President Trump further threatened to stop the export of Bull semen if Canada does not pay for the newly announced tariff. Canada imports a large amount of American Bull semen as it is a popular item among Canadians.