WASHINGTON – Tucker Carlson and Joe Rogan have launched a movement to remind everyone else who’s boss. Its call letters are WWP, and it stands for We Wear the Pants.

“With all due respect to Sydney Sweeney, it’s men in America who wear the pants,” Carlson said, “and Joe and I intend to help people understand that. And it goes without saying that we won’t be offering a version for women. That’s the whole point, in case you missed it. Did you miss it? Let me spell it out for you: WWP.” 

Rogan, a very popular podcaster, announced on his show that he and Carlson would soon begin selling a new line of pants with the letters WWP emblazoned just below the button or snap, so that when the wearer of the pants unzips them (or unbuttons them, in the case of button-fly pants), it splits the second W down the middle. Within minutes, a new email address dedicated to receiving orders was overflowing with eager customers.

Carlson was referring to a widely publicized recent ad featuring Sweeney, a well-known actress, and the slogan “Sydney Sweeney Has Great Jeans.” Seeing the ad for himself, President Trump couldn’t help heaping praise on the ad campaign.

The pants would come in all the usual sizes, Rogan said, and in a variety of colors, although he did go out of his way to say that MAGA red would not be one of those colors. “Look, we’re not selling golf pants here,” Rogan said. “This is about the pants that the man of the house wears around the house and when he’s out with his friends and family. This is about reclaiming center stage, at a time when many non-men think that they have a right to that designation.”