BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND – At a joint news conference, Madonna and the surviving members of Black Sabbath announced that they would be joining forces as a band and embarking on a world tour.

“This is not a joke,” said Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi. “We have long respected Madonna’s musicianship and her songwriting, and we are looking forward to touring together. As you might have heard, we don’t have a singer at the moment.”

Madonna, who said that her interest in Kabbalah naturally dovetailed with the band’s interest in the occult, joined the mutual respect society. “These are some of the best musicians in the business,” she said. “I absolutely loved ‘Paranoid’ when I was growing up. If not for a twist of fate, I might have been a metallist.” 

Iommi said that the band would soon be embarking on the “Black Sabbath: Blonde Ambition Tour” and that they had already booked some venues in the U.K. and the U.S. Iommi said that he was particularly looking forward to playing “Black Sabbath” and “Like a Prayer” back-to-back and was eagerly anticipating Madonna’s dance moves during his “War Pigs” solo. “Our opening acts will be a series of Sabbath tribute bands and Madonna tribute acts,” he said. “That mosh pit will be one festive bunch!” 

In the same vein, Sabbath bassist Geezer Butler said that he was convinced that the band’s song “Children of the Grave” and Madonna’s song “Like a Virgin” explored similar themes of transformation and rebirth. Butler said that he had long been a fan of Madonna’s hitmaking and that her song “Holiday” was one he still listened to when we was having a down moment.

The news conference ended with Madonna and Sabbath drummer Bill Ward striking poses from “Vogue.”