SAN FRANCISCO, California — Earlier today, the San Francisco Police Department was called to an apartment in the Tenderloin district after a distressed lady reported a man found deceased. The man, Roger Powers, 54, was found deceased lying on top of a robotic companion. The police are investigating the manner; however, they believe the man was having private intimate moments with the robot based on the location of the burnt skin found on the deceased, with the lower portions of the deceased unrecognizable.

Neighbors explained to The Perineal over a telephone interview that Roger purchased the robot a couple of months ago, about 6 months after a divorce. He was, at the time, very excited to receive the robot and went out of his way to tell his neighbors about his new purchase. Roger often appeared dissatisfied with his dating life, complaining that he could not find suitable matches for a new relationship. Women his age, as he described to his neighbors, were either not interested in relationships, talked too much, or had strange behaviors.

Roger had no family or relatives. He will be cremated by the City of San Francisco.