NORFOLK, Virginia – A scattering of Morbius 2 requests have made their way onto various social media platforms, leaving legit superhero fans angry at the individuals behind every Morbius 2 request, a bunch of insomniacs.

“The first review I left was reported for inappropriate content,” said one insomniac who requested anonymity for safety reasons. “It was a five-star rating, no comment. Before it got taken down, someone replied asking why I would want to add more suffering and pain onto this planet when we already have so much. Another person found my private email and sent a death threat.”

At first, he planned to let it go because he thought he could rewatch Morbius for the rest of his life to help with insomnia, but it stopped working. “I had no other option but to join a Morbius support group. There, I realized I wasn’t alone. Others shared my love for Morbius, especially that waterfall scene followed by the sounds of bats flying out of the cave.” Neither he nor the rest of the group knew what happened after that scene. 

“That’s why we need a Morbius 2,” he explained. “Nothing knocks us out like Morbius.” Refusing to let go of the cure for insomnia, the group had created thousands of fake accounts and flooded Google with glowing reviews, figuring if enough five-star ratings showed up, Sony would assume there was demand for a sequel.As of last week, the insomniacs were no longer content with a sequel and had begun posting across IMDb and fan forums, calling for an entire Morbius Cinematic Universe.