BAKERSFIELD, California – Within minutes of opening its doors for a final clearance sale after filing for bankruptcy, long-struggling clothing store Now Aging sold out entirely, marking its most successful day in business just moments before permanently shutting down.

“I’ve never seen a line that long since I started working here 3 years ago,” said store manager Kennedy Yess, watching as hundreds of people wrapped around the block to grab discounted dresses, jackets, and shirts. “If even twenty of them had come in last week, we might not be closing.”

Customers reportedly flocked to the store after learning that prices had dropped by up to 95%, with some shoppers exclaiming they thought this place had closed down years ago and had no idea it still existed despite passing it everyday to and from work. 

The store had thrived when it first opened, with customers loving the cheap prices enough to overlook the corny quotes on their clothing, but when cheaper competition that didn’t sell clothing with tried phrases emerged, Now Aging had rapidly gone under. 

“Is it possible that we could’ve stayed in business if we had just sold everything at clearance prices the whole time? If we had been more like Heout?” Yess questioned, watching people fight tooth and nail for items they already had in their closets. 

Now Aging, emboldened by the success of its final sale, had rebranded under a new name, Basically Free, selling everything at permanent clearance rates, only to find the store empty once again, aside from a single customer asking if they had free Wi-Fi.