YELLOWSTONE, Wyoming – In addition to finding massive amounts of waste and fraud within the federal government, DOGE also demands federal workers to return to the office full-time.  Naturally, there is great resistance among many of the federal workers to do so.

This has been a major topic for workers at Yellowstone Park, where representatives for the bears have argued their home is their office, or vice-versa.

A union official for federal workers complained vigorously about the return to the office mandate.

“This is insane!” said Win Finkle, who represents many Department of the Interior workers.  “The bears have told me they are very confused as they strongly believe Yellowstone is both their home and their office.  These demands have led to confusion and in some cases depression among the bears of Yellowstone.”

Finkle said he could not provide any bears for comment as they were still hibernating.  They would not be available until at least mid-March. “This could be very traumatizing for them whenever they finally wake up,” Finkle added.  “I don’t want to be the one to tell them.  Outside of hibernation, they almost always show up to do their jobs.  What’s next, do they want them to sing and dance too?”

“Could they do that?” Elon Musk asked in response to Finkle’s concerns.  “It could really improve the whole Yellowstone experience for visitors.  I think the American taxpayer needs to know the bears spend part of the year sleeping on the job.  They should be lucky they still have jobs.