NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana – Hoping to make new friends after moving to the city, area man Trevor Hanley attended an outdoor mixer Saturday where he learned the phrase “I hate this country” means very different things to different people.

Hanley told reporters he had been standing in line about to buy a drink when he yelled “oh come on” at the $5 tariff on his drink, leading Caleb Norris, another attendee, to chime in and connect on their hatred for all things America.

“I was saying that America is getting too big for its britches and if China were to show us a lesson, I wouldn’t be mad at it,” said Hanley, who had considered supporting China by flying there to buy products directly and cut out American middlemen.

Norris had responded that China should really show America a lesson while wiggling his eyebrows and elbowing Hanley, causing Hanley to laugh.

According to Hanley, the conversation took a turn when Norris said that someone brave would have to do what needs to be done.

“We were talking about how America bombs, exploits, and bullies other countries,” Hanley recalled. “But then Caleb said ISIS had simply actualized the vision before the rest of us had the courage to. And now history is aligning globally, dawg. And it’s our duty as conscious actors within the US to operationalize that momentum and bring the empire to its knees, dawg. Permanently.”

Hanley, still trying to understand half the words Norris had said, just nodded along before Norris asked, “My brother in arms, are you with me?” and opened his jacket to reveal a suicide vest.

At press time, Hanley was out purchasing American flags for his car and yard to show his newfound patriotism after his interaction with Norris.