CUPERTINO, California – A leak from Apple Inc gave The Perineal insight into the yet to be officially announced new iPhone, the iPhone XVIII. Indeed, it will be the eighteenth iPhone, though Apple insists it will actually be the “first” phone to matter since the previous one. According to executives, writing the number in Roman numerals makes it “18 times more innovative” than the previous model, even if it still looks exactly the same.

The company has not revealed major hardware changes being propsoed, though industry insiders in knowledge to the matter say the new device boasts a “slightly shinier bezel” and a charging cable so advanced it still doesn’t come in the box. Apple also hinted at a new color called “Space Black,” which has been described as “a black that looks slightly less black.”

In a bold marketing move, Apple will enlist some of its fiercest critics to promote the iPhone XVIII. Comedian Ricky Gervais is reportedly in talks to star in the ad campaign, where he will roast the phone’s lack of innovation while holding one in his hand. “If you can laugh at yourself,” said one Apple executive, “you can charge $1,499 for the same rectangle again and again.” At press time, Apple was already rumored to be working on the iPhone XIX, which sources say will feature “a brand-new number.”