Washington D.C. – The ABC Network claims that they started looking for a replacement for Jimmy Kimmel soon after he was suspended from his late-night talk show “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”. People close to the matter noted that the ABC parent company had input on the selection for the new host. It was to our staff’s surprise that the selected personality to replace Jimmy Kimmel is no other than President Donald Trump, as ABC/Disney confirmed him as the organization’s first choice.

We caught up with President Donald Trump at the ABC studio for a brief interview: “This was totally unexpected to me. I would have never guessed they would choose me since I am already an incredibly busy person, but it is an honor to be in this role. It will be fantastic. People and writers at SNL will finally know what TV jokes are; what they do over there is a disgrace.” We asked President Trump who will write his material: “No one will write my material, I can and should write it since I am the funniest and wittiest person around! And I don’t even need to write them, I can show up and wing it, just start talking and putting out joke after joke, it still will be the most beautiful thing. If needed, I can speak for hours and not slow down the pace; everyone will want to watch me”.

It is not clear when the first episode will be aired. We noticed a sign by the studios with a crown logo and titled “No Joke! By Trump.”