DETROIT, Michigan – Loyal viewers of the hit series White Lotus have gone through identity crises since Season 3 aired, especially local man Nick, who was hit the hardest after binge-watching the show’s latest season and is now concerned about incestuous acts taking place during his upcoming family vacation.
Initially planning to relax, hit the pool, and enjoy some quality family time, Nick now fears that the heartwarming family trip’s itinerary has changed to include reluctantly participating in some debauchery.
“My mind has been spiraling into darker territory after the show’s plotline took a turn none of us wanted it to take,” Nick said, visibly unsettled. “I always thought family was for hugs and jovial times, not drugs and venereal acts. It goes to show, anything is possible.”
As he spoke, his eyes darted nervously toward his siblings who, much to his fears, enjoyed the show, notably his brother who laughed a little too loud at the morning-after scene.
After extensive internal debate, Nick took to his computer to research the possibility of “incestuous tendencies” appearing among families in vacation settings, finding that it wasn’t that rare, with some real-world occurrences even making their way onto Reddit’s relationship advice threads. “You think you know someone,” Nick said, shaking his head.
As the show progressed, Nick became more unsure of his own identity, questioning aloud, “Could I be an Asian girl?” before then purchasing a gun after remembering his IRS audit notice.
Nick had given his siblings a survey to rank their vacation concerns and was breathing in and out of a paper bag after his brother ranked potential incest at the same level as “Weak Wi-Fi” on his list.
