Local

NEW YORK, NY – Having spent the past few months championing the perks of dating an older woman, Chad finally unveiled the much-anticipated photo of his Golden Bachelorette, Emily. “He’s been raving about this cougar for months,” said coworker Ryan, stunned by the big reveal. “From the way he talked, I figured she’d be at least…

HOMOSASSA, FL – Scrolling past the gory images of torn limbs, decapitated heads, and half-bitten thighs on her laptop, Defense Attorney Jamie simply couldn’t believe it when she came across the file detailing that her alleged cannibal client had never been to therapy before. “Shut up,” she gasped at the time of discovery, “I can’t…