Elon Musk and DOGE continue to search for waste, fraud and abuse within the federal government. Yet, some vital programs are also being cut, including USAID funding to provide diapers for incontinent tadpoles in Bolivia.
Known as “tad pads” within the USAID building, these diapers are said to improve the self-esteem of the little Bolivian tadpoles as they grow into full blown frogs. Without the $28.9 million to fund this program, there’s no telling how they will turn out.
Gert Wilpon, who used to head up the “tad pad” program at USAID, but now serves as a valet at an upscale Alexandria, Virginia restaurant, said, “Without the ‘tad pads’ the little tadpoles run the risk of a sad, pathetic life as an adult frog, living on street corners, strung out on fentanyl, or maybe working as a valet at a fancy restaurant. I’ve seen it, it isn’t pretty. I remember seeing them paddle, maybe they swam, but it sort of looks like paddling to me. Anyway, they had such confidence once they were fitted with those diapers, knowing they weren’t going to have an accident, if you catch my drift.”
The Bolivian government stated that in just the first few weeks since the program funding was cut tadpoles have been reluctant to turn into adult frogs and prefer to stay in the basement of their parents’ lily pad, eating Cheetos and playing Frogger.
Despite the complaints, Donald Trump remains steadfast and stated the American Taxpayer should not be paying for diapers for Bolivian tadpoles.
“That is not the best use of your tax dollars, not when there are plenty of incontinent American tadpoles who should get our assistance first,” Trump said.
