NEW YORK – We here at Perineal are on top of the trends, and we’re all over the strange entity known as 6-7. Why are all the kids chanting it these days? What does it even mean? We asked some experts, and here is what they said.

Neil deGrasse Tyson, scientist: “If you look at the atomic structure of carbon and nitrogen, you’ll find that they have atomic numbers of 6 and 7. These two elements are among the fundamental building blocks of all organic life. These children have intuitively grasped basic astrophysics.”

Dr. Oz, Secretary of Health and Human Services: “As a cardiothoracic surgeon, I can tell you that 6-7 refers to the ideal heart rate zones for fat burning. Kids are intuitively signaling their metabolic awareness, and I recommend that we add 6-8 to the new USDA dietary guidelines.”

Elon Musk: “This is obviously binary: 6 is 110 and 7 is 111; these kids are speaking in machine code. They’re way ahead of their parents’ generation. I’m so impressed with this great leap forward in evolution that I’m rebranding X as 67.”

Stephen A. Smith: “Now let met be perfectly clear. Y’all listen up now. That whole 6-7 thing, it’s real. And it really is a height thing. LaMelo Ball has been appearing in those videos. How tall is he? 6-foot-7. You know who else was 6-foot-7? Larry Bird and Scottie Pippen. This is obviously shorthand for ‘otherworldly talent,’ although with LaMelo, I wouldn’t go far. He’s got some work to do yet.”

Marjorie Taylor Greene: “Why do I always have to be the one to speak the truth? 6-7 is obviously a reference to the Deep State. How do I know? I just know. These children have been red-pilled, and they’re trying to warn us. We should start listening now, before it’s too late.”