HOLLYWOOD, California – In a bold bid to redefine aesthetic norms, California socialite Ethel Evergreen has unveiled her latest crusade: Botox implants for the ears. Declaring the era of plump lips “utterly passé,” Evergreen insists that elongated, chemically-enhanced lobes are the future of facial fashion.

Speaking from her Beverly Hills mansion, where walls are adorned with portraits of her in various surgical phases, Evergreen explained her epiphany. “I’ve outlived trends from flapper fringes to Kardashian contours,” she said in a voice quivering with conviction. “Big lips? That’s so 2020. Ears are the new canvas—imagine them dangling like elegant chandeliers, frozen in perpetual perkiness.”

The procedure, dubbed “Auricular Augmentation,” involves injecting Botox directly into ear cartilage to achieve a “sculpted, elf-like elongation.” Proponents claim it enhances auditory aesthetics, though critics warn of potential side effects like “whispering winds” or unintended echolocation abilities.

Beauty experts are divided. Dr. Vivian Vane, a leading plastic surgeon, hailed it as revolutionary: “Ethel’s vision could eclipse lip fillers entirely. Undeterred, Evergreen has enlisted influencers for her campaign, promising “ear parties” at exclusive spas. As Hollywood buzzes, one thing is clear: in the relentless pursuit of youth, no appendage is safe.