OCHOPEE, Florida – In a bizarre turn of events that has left authorities scratching their heads and wildlife experts grinning, the South Florida detention center known colloquially as Alligator Alcatraz was evacuated last week due to unprecedented flooding from Tropical Storm Rex. Guards and staff fled rising waters that transformed the facility’s grounds into a murky swamp, but upon their return, they discovered an even greater mystery: every cell stood empty, with no trace of the 150 inmates.

The center, built on reclaimed Everglades land and notorious for its reptilian neighbors, was abandoned for 48 hours as floodwater surged to waist height. “We prioritized safety,” said Warden Harlan Crock, in a press conference held on drier ground. “But when we came back, it was like a ghost town—doors unlocked, bunks untouched, and suspicious drag marks leading to the perimeter fence.”

Investigators point to the facility’s namesake inhabitants as prime suspects. South Florida’s alligator population, swollen by recent rains, is believed to have breached the compound. “We’ve found scales, half-eaten boots, and what appears to be a inmate’s tattooed hide in nearby canals. It’s nature’s own breakout.” Local residents reported hearing “chomping sounds” during the heavy rains. “Authorities have launched a search, but with the Everglades’ labyrinthine waterways, recovery seems unlikely.

The federal government discussed the matter with State of Florida governor Ron DeSantis. They made an announcement where the expressed regret for the loss, however the Governor requested the State agency to move on and have the next 150 inmates arrive as soon as possible.